How to change your life when you become parents? And what does the couple?
There are still a him or her and the two lovers-friends-accomplices become hopelessly only dad and mum?
I know that this theme we discussed on other occasions, but as chatter between friends.
This time, instead, I wanted to know the opinion of an expert.
Something on the importance of being a couple “even when we become parents.
“We talked about the role of Dad when a baby is born and what happens to women when they become mothers, I conclude with a reflection on what happens to the pair when they become parents”.
Is a completely normal and saline. When our puppy enters for the first time to be part of our lives, everything changes and everything takes on a form and a new meaning.
Priorities, motivation, energy, space and time, rotate all around him and of course, even as a matter of “chemistry” (continuous production of the hormone oxytocin which will remain throughout the period of breast-feeding) in new moms is all magnified a thousand times!
This time, indeed hopeful … godiamocela perche is a unique moment. But beware, there is a risk if we keep this one thing: too often, this phase extends, until it became eternal, often until our little puppy turns 18 years!
The couple turns, alien, disappears … and it becomes “just” MOM and dad! But where they go to finish this man and that woman are known, chosen, who designed, dreamed, idealised their lives together?
In my work very often see couples and families in crisis, of all ages and walks of life and when I ask them: “I told what to do when you were engaged or married or before becoming parents?” or “remembers what is that he did fall in love with her husband?”, or “when was the last time you went out to dinner alone?”, on their faces often axle empty!!!
Here’s what I’m referring to: we forget the couple! You become MOM and dad and the loving couple fades, often becoming only a distant and sweet memory.
We find ourselves only living every day with its usual problems, to talk about school, diapers or than we have angered the children, paediatricians, medicines, commitments, things to pay … and you easily forget that “we”, to see each other, to listen, and listen to him, not to mention the share as we feel us, our thoughts, of what we have inside.
Fatigue often, little time … everything makes the accomplice created this situation.
Behold care mothers, we must learn to protect, safeguard and pampered a little more that being a couple!
Two parents must provide their children the importance of defending their own spaces and their privacy, they should teach them respect for the individuality beyond the imposition of these roles must be gratified and fulfilled, the lovers United, and first of all as a couple in order to provide solid foundations that have family!
Two parents as far away as the couple, sooner or later pay the Bills somehow …
I don’t want to scare you, for charity! But just make you think ….
I, like all my colleagues dealing with psyche, wellness, couples and families, we recommend a lot on this aspect to give greater guarantees to “long term” to the family and the couple that you format.
What to do? First legitimizing this truth, think about what I told you, observe your routine, your couple, your get-together.
If you are part of those couples who realize that he “lost” something of all this, it is never too late! Treat yourself to a basic rule: take the time and space just for you, both individually and as a couple.
Do not judge or blame yourself if one evening per month, an afternoon or a day, you ask friends or relatives (or even a babysitter) to keep your child and organized a moment “by sweethearts” far from everything that is connected to the routine (so no expense, gifts for children etc.).
Rituffatevi in memory of when you were just the two of you and …. EVATEDETE from everyone and everything!
Do something fun, relaxing, you love to do …
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that then mental children suffer because they feel too your lack … you are the first to be in trouble! And this little perceived!
If you do all this with great serenity and naturalness, even your children will be accordingly! And you think, that you are doing something for them, because the state teaching something important and you are offering two parents who return home more happy, satisfied and maybe even a little more in love: and this can hurt your children! “